BOMBS AWAY

We had been told all along that there was a visible size discordance between our girls though it never seemed to be a big deal. Then around 22 weeks there was a 30% difference between our twins and we were told Baby A had sIUGR ( selective Intrauterine Growth Restriction) This is another complication that MoMos can have and often is caused by an unequal sharing of the placenta.. Baby A was getting the short end of the stick. She then did dopplers to measure blood flow to the babies. More bad news.. intermitten absent diastolic flow was seen. If this becomes reverse end diastolic flow the baby would not make it and because of their situation being so closely tied together this gives the other twin about a 50% chance of survival and if they do survive an elevated chance for brain damage. We were devastated again. Our Perinatologist was very concerned that things could turn from bad to worse quickly. She said if we got to viability we might have to make some hard choices. You have to take both twins out to save them but then you subject both twins including the healthy twin to all the dangers of extreme prematurity.

We were walking on eggshells. And though I have been pretty strong through this all, I had a hard time with this news. I know life just isn't fair sometimes and bad things do happen to good people. Cary and I have both felt so blessed in our lives, It was hard to be up against all this.

Thank God for our 20 month old son Rylan who is my sunshine and comic relief through all of this. One morning I broke down crying on the couch and the little guy came over and started rubbing my arm. It was so heart warming. This has been so difficult but it has also really strengthened my relationship with Cary. I do feel blessed to have such an awesome husband and amazing son. I just want so much for these girls to arrive safe and healthy and be part of our family.

Cary's Commentary:

I am going to say it.... I have come to realize, this whole pregnancy really sucks (easy for me to say, right?!). A high risk pregnancy is fraught with ups and downs, lots of scary things, and complicated emotions. Its not even comparable to a "normal" pregnancy that we had with our son Rylan. In some ways, having access to information (ultrasounds, amnio's, bloodwork, growth measurements) is a curse.....What are you going to do about it?!?!

The SIUGR diagnosis was not ideal, but then again we are in high risk territory anyway, so I shouldn't be surprised, right?!