The Junior Partner

My Mom & Dad came down to visit the girls in the NICU last week. My dad is is a very funny guy, and remains among the most entertaining people I know. He is always cheerful, talking about his favorite pastimes; the Blackhawks or the Bears, the stock market, or current events. He was a lawyer in his career for the better part 35 years, and still speaks the tongue.

Sitting in Hanna's "pod" in the NICU, my dad motioned to the "pod" next door was Ashlyn lives, and says "How is the Junior partner?" I laughed out loud for a good minute or two.....It was a much needed good belly laugh, and a funny and very accurate description of Ashlyn.

She has been the junior partner right from the start. Our first real indication of trouble came around 22 weeks, when ultrasound first indicated she was much smaller than her sister; Her head, stomach, and estimated weight were all lower than Hanna's. It was estimated at one point she was 30% smaller than her twin. She came out only 20% smaller than her sister, however, that hasn't changed the hard reality. She continues to be the "junior partner" and get the short end of the stick.

My Iphone read "unknown caller" around 10am this morning, and I knew instantly who it was. The hospital NICU has called several times, and it always reads the same. They don't call to give you happy, cheerful status updates on your children in intensive care; they only call to tell you about problems.

Hanna on Saturday

I answered, and a Amanda, a new "resident" introduced herself on the other end of the line. She explained that Ashlyn had had a rough night....A whopping 80 CC's of fluid had drained out of her chest tube, and she was having increasingly difficulty breathing. they had turned her ventilator all the way to 50 to compensate. They had done a round of xrays and seen a large fluid buildup; Not on the side with the chest tube, the right....... but on the left side. She was calling for permission to insert a 2nd chest tube, this time on the left. She went through all the standard disclaimer; risk of infection, risk of bleeding blah blah blah....Then said "besides that, she's doing great!"

That familiar feeling started again; the deep pain starting to well up inside me. I went upstairs and told Sara and she started to cry. We went down to the NICU soon therafter.

Weekend "rounds"

We arrived just in time for "rounds". It's a different crew on the weekends. They went through the standard routine; Ashlyn had:

• 80 CC's fluid drain from chest tube
• 20 CC's from 2nd chest tube
• on 55% oxygen
• Recommended stopping feeds
• Off Antibiotics
• Visibly Bloated
• Adding Hydro cortisone

Hanna's report was better: No major issues-a slight concern with an elevated heart rate (tachycardia), and murmur related to a hopefully closing PDA, but otherwise increasing feeds and gaining weight.

Looking at poor little Ashlyn was painful. She was totally bloated, and didn't look like the same micro girl we had left the day before. With 2 chest tubes sticking out of both sides of her chest, and asleep on pain meds, she didn't look so good.

I chatted with the doctor for awhile, and he told me they say "5 or 10" Chylothorax's per year in the NICU in Denver. He says "Its really a weird one.....but the good thing is it's treatable. It just takes time, maybe weeks. The lymph system simply has to plug the hole and heal itself...not much we can do but wait."

Sara and I spent a few hours at the NICU; Sara pumped and did "Kangaroo care" with Hanna. We put our hands on poor little Ashlyn, but 9 days into her life, have yet to hold her. We drove home in silence, the emotional tidal wave of it all crashing over us.

All in all, a very difficult day, maybe the worst yet since we started this journey.

Please give our "junior partner" some good vibes and prayer.